Wednesday, December 06, 2006
In other news, I've spent the last couple of months on the road working on Blaqk Audio in all my spare moments and we're finally going to record next month.(!) Davey and I are tres excited to finally get in the studio and finish this album. I know we've been talking about it for 3 years but now we finally have time to make it happen. We've even decided on an album title, but, just in case we randomly change our minds and call it something else, I won't say what it is.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Friday, November 10, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
5. London- Guy pulled out my iPod and said "Wot thees? Alarm clock?"
4. Phoenix- Old man swabs Davey's makeup case and the machine detects TNT on it.
3. Mexico- Guards confiscate Smith's flatiron as a dangerous weapon.
2. Oakland- I unwittingly leave a pair of brass knuckles in my jacket pocket and almost get arrested on a felony.
1. Toronto- Even older man with sweet purple turban pats down my hair for at least 15 seconds to determine if there are any illegal items hidden within.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Top 5 Stage Accidents:
1. When I tried to run up the wall in Boise and kicked my foot into the dry wall all the way to the hip and then did a backwards somersault (yes, that's how you spell somersault) out of it.
2. Falling off a 15-foot stage in Belgium onto the concrete floor, being upside down in the air still playing but somehow landing on my feet in between two bouncers.
3. Crowd surfer in Florida kicking the mic stand while I was singing, giving me a mouthful of tooth chips and a perfect bloody mic imprint on my nose.
4. Kung fu-ing myself in the head with my guitar during Bleed Black in Phoenix, my only accident requiring a hospital visit and stitches.
5. Warped Tour '99- Our trailer was parked on an incline and my roadcase rolled out of it while I had my back to it. It fell out and the metal edge cut a 6-inch long swatch of skin off the back of my ankle (which I later found perfectly preserved in my sock).
Monday, September 25, 2006
Top 5 Guitar Solos:
1. Slayer- Angel of Death
2. Solo at the end of the movie Crossroads
3. Jimi Hendrix- Little Wing
4. Poison- Life Goes On
5. Dragonforce- My Spirit Will Go On
Top 5 Videos:
1. Aphex Twin- Windowlicker
2. Radiohead- Just
3. Sinead O' Connor- Nothing Compares To U (or Marilyn Manson- Beautiful People)
4. Sigur Ros- Untitled #1
5. Dr. Dre- Nuthin But A G Thang
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Just finished up the last edits of our new video, which we'll be premiering in New York in a few days, so if you live there, come visit. It was fairly grueling shooting that thing, all the anguish you see on my face in it was real.
I should do some more Top 5's. Which should I do?
Friday, August 11, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
p.s. if someone is IMing you, etc., claiming to be me, it's not either.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Monday, July 10, 2006
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Monday, May 22, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Let's take a moment to enjoy a classic....
Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy's ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy's head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and the ninja starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
-While writing this script, I head-butt my dog so hard that we both screamed.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
Interesting, interesting. Some good thangs on that list. Although there's one recurring band that I can't stand, but I won't mention who. Alot of love for Green Day, that's good. They're great guys and all that success couldn't have happened to nicer people. Billy even let Dave and I use his house to write some new songs in for this upcoming record.
Any upcoming albums people are excited for? Saves the Day? Muse? Morrissey? Slayer? Radiohead?
Can't wait for these.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Chalker, Your Hair Looks Like Motherfuckin' Hell
Monday, February 20, 2006
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Friday, February 03, 2006
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
If someone could post something in the comments on how to make it work for the various browsers it's not working on, that would be fabulous.
Also, I posted this before, but I have no idea why Linkin Park shows up on there, I think whoever wrote the code for the player probably hid it in there somehow.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. Vivien Leigh
3. Natalie Portman
4. Ingrid Bergman
5. Marlene Dietrich
Top 5 actresses for boys to mingle with:
1. Audrey Hepburn
2. Audrey Tatou
3. Jennifer Connelly
4. Winona Ryder
5. Natalie Portman
Top 5 actors for girls to mingle with:
1. Marlon Brando
2. Cillian Murphy
3. Jude Law
4. Johnny Depp (my bad)
5. Jared Leto
Top 5 tourmates:
1. Bleeding Through
2. Death By Stereo
3. The Explosion
Saturday, January 21, 2006
1. GI Joe
honorable mention goes out to Inspector Gadget, Ren and Stimpy, and Gem
Top 5 candy/candybars:
1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
2. Sour Skittles
4. RSVP (I don't think they exist anymore)
Thursday, January 19, 2006
5. The Octagon: Chuck plays an enforcer for an asian casino, in Hong Kong I believe, but luckily, he's also a honky ninja (duh). It is notable that this is the only movie where Chuck plays a ninja. My favorite movie moment comes when he goes to collect some money owed to his boss and he runs afoul of a burly bodyguard type who takes Chuck's sweet cowboy hat off his head and stomps on it. There's an awesome voice-over of his thoughts where he thinks, "Not my good hat! Why do they always mess with my hat?" And then, in an amazing bit of camera work, there's a close-up shot of his hand clenching into a fist, which proceeds to deal out several awesome blows to various stomachs and noses.
4. Forced Vengeance: This is my favorite Charles Norris movie. At the end, he has to battle the bodyguard of the head bad guy/asian gang leader, who just happens to be one of the top 5 most ruling bodyguards of all time. He's fugly and has a Sonny Bono wig on, as well as being basically as tall as Yao Ming. I could be making that part up, but that's how he looks in my memory. Anyway, earlier in the movie, this guy rapes Chuck's girlfriend, which is what forces his vengeance, I guess. So they square off, and they're about to get into it when Sonny Bono says, "Your girl was very good", as a taunt. Except with his accent it comes out as "Yo guuh boss berry guuh." And then he gets punched in the stomach (duh).
3. Delta Force: This scene may have actually happened in Delta Force II, or maybe it happened in Invasion USA, or maybe it happened to me, but anyway. The end scene is basically total bearded domination of all aspects of ass-kicking. First off, let me just mention that Chuck is riding a dirt bike with twin missile launchers on it. He does various fabulous things like chasing a plane down a runway while standing up on the seat of the motorcycle and crashes through the wall of a house unharmed. I've never thought that driving a motorcycle into the side of a house expecting to crash through it was a smart move but now I know that it's totally possible. And then, of course, he's chilling on the motorcycle on this cliff top looking super sweet when he spots the bad guys (probably various bodyguards) driving below in some kind of weak jeep so he fires a heat-seeking missile off and blows them up.
1. Lone Wolf Mcquaid: That's possibly misspelled, but who cares, who died and made you god? In this scene, Chuck gets knocked out, only because he was sucker-punched, and buried alive by a backhoe. Luckily though, he gets buried alive in his totally bitchin and tricked out 1983 Ford Bronco. He comes to and is pretty much unfazed by the fact that he's now underground. Maybe it's because he's wearing a light-blue denim shirt with the sleeves cut off. Fortunately, there happens to be a six-pack of beer on the seat next him and he opens one and chugs it (in a move only Chuck could pull off, he doesn't remove the individual beer from the plastic thing holding the beers together). Then, he starts the engine and basically jumps out of the ground in slow motion. Don't even worry about the physics of it, I did the math and it all checks out. What follows is lots of bodyguards and druglords getting machine-gunned and punched in the stomach.
You may have noticed that I skipped number 2 but I have a party to go to.