Saturday, March 18, 2006

Let's take a moment to enjoy a classic....

Ninja, Please

Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy's ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy's head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
Scene 2:
A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and the ninja starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.

END

-While writing this script, I head-butt my dog so hard that we both screamed.

120 comments:

Kara said...

You are too cool for words.

Mucj love <3

Kara said...

oh wow I just spelled much wrong

Oops!

wrmfzykty said...

Cool beans...will there be a sequel??

Love ya
Kty

wrmfzykty said...

Oh...and give the poor dog a helmet next time :-)

ALEX! IM AT THE DISCO said...

Hahah this was AWESOME.

Macabre Gacy said...

This could be a brand new Episode to Ninja Turtles. They'll re-emerge with the help of JADE PUDGET! great! Great!. Im loving it.

hannah said...

It makes me happy to know that you, like me, are still a twelve year old. ♥

Luna said...

Amazing Ninja story! There needs to be a sequel.

This made my good day turn into a great day. I love great days and the people who make them great.

Love and blessed be!

Luna

JadeyX said...

That was fucking awesome. I was totally picturing it in my head. If you make that into a movie, it'll be totally rad.

Yay doggy!!! *pets*

Ebon said...

why are you head butting dogs? crazy man...

volare said...

Bah. Pirates!

volare said...

bah, fuck me for hitting enter. lol. nobody remembers this it seems...

http://www.realultimatepower.net/ninja/ninja_movie_script.htm

Thorb said...

i can just assume your dog is a badass.

In Shadows Growing Wings said...

You are insane man...
And i mean this in the MOST positive way ever!

I love u dude!:)

Rock On!

\m/

† sinthetyca † said...

This made me laugh insanely.

You're crazy awesome.

Fluffo said...

...Oh.

Bandito said...

Somehow exploding body parts aren't my thing, unless they're heads. The guitar thing made me laugh though, my friend and I are always joking about hot lixx.

ps. now that Davey's hair is out of the way, your hair can take over as being the biggest of all. Then you can be Leader of the Pack and people will sing songs about you.

rockstar's girl! said...

haha thats great! i love it!!

*Enter super siffy awsome display name here* said...

That was great. Ninjas are so awsome, there should be more ninja movies out. Pirates are out there now, but ninjas shall return and kick their asses!! Oh, and one more thing... you are AWSOME!!!!

Cone Hat said...

Yes!
Not only has my anti-social cat come out from under the bed, but you mentioned the kick-ass weapon/utencile, the Ninja Star.
You are such a funnywadd.

Is your dog yellow?

Keep up the radness.

veiled_static said...

I am more than a little worried for the sanity of the person who wrote this. Still, star throwing ninjas win every time, it's just the way it is. :D

Caroline

Fragile said...

okay the barfing part i could have done without... NAAAS-TY.
Other than that you're well on your way to becoming a B movie master.

oh, I laughed so hard imaigning you head-butting a dog.

Skishop said...

You rule @ life.
This should be a video.

Oompaloomprachaun said...

I'm so totaly gonna use that... with ur permission of course... my friend hasa video recorder on her cell phone... that is how i create my hitler rock movies...
sxe always
Peggy

kat said...

You are one twisted individual.

Bullimic Pacman said...

you should add some Jack Off Jill to the playlist... that could make great back ground music for some scenes in this "movie" *start creating on flash create"
sxe always
Peggy

Hotdog said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Supreme General of Evil said...

I take it that you love the Real Ultimate Power website also ::laughs::

My favorite story is the one where some kids are telling ghost stories and the ninja overhears, gets scared, then starts spanking the crap out of one of them.

Out of the pictures, I love the one with the ninja hanging over the bathroom stall and the one with the kitten running through a field followed by a couple of ninjas about to cut its head off and the caption that reads, "Every time you masturbate, a ninja cuts a kitten's head off" (or something to that effect).

That site gives me a warm, sparkly feeling that makes me want to lube up a frisbee then swallow it. Or spank someone.

Anonymous said...

LMFAO!

That's was fucking awesome.

leigh said...

ninjas fight all the time.

shanagdi said...

It's a good thing you shred on guitar...

No, I'm just kidding. That is a sweet story with very interesting visuals that made me laugh. Barfing is highly overrated, but I particularly enjoyed the part with the ninja playing guitar. Hmmm... Is this an autobiographical account?

I'm lust in your eyes said...

My friends would love you. If your a ninja then call me The Ninja Sex Slave.

Autumn said...

I love the Nanja Stories Jade, keep em up;)

a hopeless insomniac said...

WOW.

Lilith said...

I'd watch that film :P

xxxxx

Frin said...

Hahaha, you like REAL Ultimate Power too! How awesome. =D

Facts:
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.

*giggles manically*
Thanks Jade, I just lost all my bookmarks and had nealry forgot to add that site again. Perfect timeing mate!
Much love and more respect than ever (if that's indeed possible),
Frin

havey_angel said...

Fantasy...great...have you ever played RPG games??? I think you should ;P

Maybe next time you should write a 'pink story' (ok, that was awful)

xoxo

havey

Pretty_Much_Totally_Awesome said...

I think it is safe to say that you are an interesting person Jade. haha thats why I <3 you. Keep up with the awesome ninjas,guiter wailing, pukeing/screaming dogs,and expolding items. I think you have pure talent for it. ;)
Much Love
Sarah

kat said...

My sister thinks you're evil to your dog. You should be charged with animal molestation.

Illusive Nothing said...

YES NINJAS! You should send the script in somewhere in Hollywood so they can make it a movie. You should be the kick-ass sleeping ninja.

I wish I had a Ninja star. =(

Glad to hear from ya again, Jade!

~Alexis

Glass said...

Way to make my day, man!
That was hilarious!

<333

Anonymous said...

Man, I wish I was a super cool ninja who could make buildings fall on people who sing annoying songs. I only have the ninja stars which could get me in trouble.

jen said...

hahahahahaha I like the cutting down of the building especially.

AlainaKayoss said...

*le gasp*

IT'S FROM THAT NINJA BOOK, ISN'T IT?!?!

i LOVE that book. I got it a few years ago...(shh..tell no one...<.<...>.> it's a secret!)

Buuuut, a friend 'borrowed' it.
And, thus, the end of my Ninja days...

Well, for awhile, at least.

<3Kayoss

Skylar said...

What is this?! This is so fucking funny. I don't even know what you were trying to say. But it was fun reading it. I'm such a dork.

emi said...

Oh that was awesome.
:)

Mel said...

Your ninja rules! Yeah! Great scenes!


(poor dog!)


:*

Anonymous said...

And the Oscar goes to.....

Anonymous said...

And the Oscar goes to.....

Girls Don't Cry said...

That...

Was...

AWESOME.

Holy Christfuck, that was SO cool. I wanna be a ninja when I grow up!

Darlene Conner said...

...ohmygodiloveyou.

<333333!

Desert Queen said...

Guess who just made my day a thousand times better?

<333

Karmacoma said...

I'm writing a script about Zombie Ninjas. So far I've got a pretty wicked cool theme song but I think I should add a bitchin guitar solo.

I think I'll have my movie take place at Disneyland and the zombie Ninjas will attack the Pirates of the Carribean and utterly destroy them; thereby ending that foolish debate. Yes Pirates are cool but just not as cool as Ninjas.

A Girl with Broken Dreams said...

lol, I love you Jade. You definitely just made my day..again. and by the way, you're right, you do look with your shirt of :) Have a wonderful day, hope Smith and his buttback are fine,
~Akasha~

Louis XIII said...

Everyone should be tied down and forced to see this film.

tomi said...

cool

Noodles said...

shhh... ninjas

Aimee said...

HAhahaha! Thats so cool!

a hopeless insomniac said...

Have you seen "V for Vendetta" yet?
Just wanted to let you know "V" has some pretty good moves in it, though I think the ninjas would still kick his ass.
It would be a good fight. I have to give "V" that much...

That's all I'll say, since I don't want to ruin the plot in case you have not yet seen the movie.

Wait a minute - you probably have, since Natalie Portman - one on your "top 5 mingle list" is in it!

37mm said...

Ninjas own my face.
Nyaaa!
Awesome story.

some chick said...

Well then, I don't know whether to cry or to.....cry.

Alright, that's cool.

Under Saturns Shadow said...

that is quite possibly the best story I have ever read. I'd really enjoy a sequel.

Elizabeth said...

wow !great script , ha ha ha ha . Do you have a dog ? , that's nice...

IAMSPARTACUS [DF] said...

Best story ever. Come to London Ontario. <33

Chloe said...

I didn't know the word "barf" was still in circulation. Cheers!

Charlene said...

can i be one of the ninjas! haha ... super sweet jade ... bravo

Stigmata Martyr said...

Lovely.


You have got some mad writing skills.

Miss Murderess said...

Yay for Ninjas. You should definitely send in this to Tarantino. He'd love it.

My friend and his dog are hilarious. She bites the dog's ear and the dog fights back and the can go on for hours

Heathen said...

Jade, that was BY FAR the best entry you've made yet. Ninja's make things cooler.

Jessica said...

Wow. That's just too cool for words.
You are too wonderful and funny for words.

stella said...

Is this the plot for the next Charlotte video? If so, that's hecka tight!

Pretty Pistol said...

so that was pretty much the highlight of my day...

it was even more entertaining than my volleyball tournament...

you're my hero..

the end.

SheLuvsU said...

God, I love your crazy ass....

Anonymous said...

wtf

Chelsea said...

I should hope you really have a dog and not just a cracked desk.

http://www.entertheninja.com/
Go there! And to WhiteNinjaComics.com

If you haven't already...

i have no idea said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
i have no idea said...

dude your fucking awsome.... very intersting script...make more!!! hope both you and your dog are ok..

Lori said...

I thought you were straight-edge?????

gutterprose said...

Proof that you don't need drugs to have fun, kids!

xx

her face is so illogical said...

Literary. genious.

A story that will endure through generations, and in all of our hearts, forever.

<3 Sam

girlisgrey said...

damn linkin park!!!


i laughed at the script.

i love you jade.

Ayla said...

You're insane.

Anonymous said...

0_o
IT IS A RIPP OFF!!!11111
OW NOEZ!
REAL ULTIMATE POWER!

http://www.realultimatepower.net/index4.htm

Anonymous said...

So you daydream about the ladies being impressed by your (I mean, the protagonist's ::ahem, ahem::) ninjaskillz. I like to believe that my ninja tricks will impress the guys. A girl can dream, can't she?

Me, flying by: whiizz, whoosh, wheee!

Random hot guy: "Wow, that was an amazing flying-side-kick. If only I had noticed faster*, I could have caught up and we could ninja-out together!"

*Technically, if "random hot guy" were also a ninja, he would sense the fellow ninja-ness and would be able to catch up. But please look past the technical points to bear with me here. :)

Kitty said...

...

Shin said...

You people read it wrong, Jade means this is a classic, he didn't right it himself, read the OMG-kid post with the real ultimate power link.

xD said...

I meant write not right XD

Mrs. Hoek said...

Wonderfully silly.
Unfortunately...
Everything>Ninjas.

ShellEy said...

LOL.
JADE.
I definitely love you now.

IAMSPARTACUS [DF] said...

Oh yeah, I relaized. You are winning the hair length contest now. Congrats Jade. Me and my friends are discussing filming this scrpit next weekend in your honour. <3

A Girl with Broken Dreams said...

Yeah, people, I'm pretty sure that he was referring to this website people keep posting, not that he wrote it himself. Anyway. Jade; you're sending me subliminal messages to go to your house. Where do you even live?

agent sometimes said...

A ninja-lover such as yourself needs to subscribe to the Ask a Ninja podcast. No two ways about it.

The Timid Wild One said...

hehehe... Thus my love for ninjas.

Anonymous said...

Mannnn that should totally be your next video!!!!!!

Miss Misery said...

Oo, I hate head-butting dogs, or anything for that matter.

angie said...

Pirates are totally more awesome than ninjas...infact I happen to be a pirate captain. ARG!!! =P I love that site. Real Ultimate Power!
<3

Anonymous said...

what kinda dog do u have?

jadedgeekgirl said...

FUESOME. I loved it. Compeletely hilarious.

jadedgeekgirl said...

btw the wailing harder part was was RADICAL!!.......heh....just don't break any strings cos that's what I did in front of my school

Your dog is as hardcore as you Jade :)

Meera said...

The whole thing was awesome, but the head-butt part made me laugh out loud in a public place.

Sabrina said...

I make ninja stars out of starbucks cards at work.

And your dog is obviously just as bad ass as yourself.

Your Arsonist said...

That sounds pretty rad. I heard from some weak scrub that ninjas like to play in drop D. "That's whack" says I, Ninjas play E standard or Eb. Can you confirm or deny?

I am a Pirate, arrghh said...

haha. Jade, you're cool.

I have a song think you'd enjoy.

it's about ninja's.

http://rapidshare.de/files/26581889/
Ninja_of_the_Night.mp3.html

hope you like it. =D

Endlessly.She.Said. said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Endlessly.She.Said. said...

i was cracking up the whole time i was reading that and then i read the dog headbutting thing... i just totally pictured you headbutting your god in the head o.my.god thats great! : )

Ninjirate said...

WOW. Jade, I already knew you were a genius, but you just keep proving it over and over again! That was pure ninjenius!

Ninjirate said...

WOW. Jade, I already knew you were a genius, but you just keep proving it over and over again! That was pure ninjenius! I bet in kindergarten, yout teacher said "Screw GOLD stars! Jade gets ninja stars!" Is your dog also a ninja?

HelloGoodbye said...

hah! that's awesome, were both rad. . lets hug!

Poor dog, and Jade. . I feel bad now. . .

Superduperspeedeelicious said...

Oh Oh. I remember this. Made me laugh. All of it.

Superduperspeedeelicious said...

HEY! I'm Kara! WHO TOOK MY NAME?! Wait... Nah, that wasn't me. I don't say much love. Hmm... Maybe I do?

Light (L.A) ^.^ said...

Hey, Wow , I totally enjoyed this,^_^, it reminds me of my brother's stories for some odd reason, hmm, anyways I hope you write some more like this you've definitely have got the vision of a director, oh yeah

I don't know if you even care but did you know ninja stars are actually shurikens (might be mispelled, oh well).Some advice: don't mess with those stars, they leave a nasty cut, trust me.

Peace Out!

(I tried making this all bold , did it work???)

Light (L.A) ^.^ said...

YAY! It worked, well peace Out!

AFI.....best band in world....I'm not kidding, ^_^

Alexis Ann said...

haha your awesome jade!

TheWhiteRooms said...

Hahahahahahaah it is now 2:32 am and I am laughing so hard that I'm crying and I woke up my niece who is pissed off at me. If I didn't love you before I do now :D

TheWhiteRooms said...

My niece threw a cup of water at me and put an ice cube down the back of my DF shirt :(. Meanie.. she doesn't understand how important this shirt is to me. Hehe she's funny when she's mad. Owww she hit me cause she's reading what I'm typing :(

mrsdaveyhavok said...

oooo poor Munch!!!
are u two okay??? (haha i would have screamed too.)
JADE HAS AWESOME TASTES! WE HAVE THE SAME KIND OF DOG!!! :D

Kiss or Kill said...

Poor Munch.

Nish said...

i like it..its very......explosivE? um poor munch and wow awesome guitar in the background sounds sweet

Olivia said...

u are a true artist, can i play the dude whos feet explode? even although me being a chick might cause a few problems...

Anonymous said...

Retarded-ness!
Although I wrote a story about a pink turtle.
That also went nowhere...