Top 5 Airport Security Line Experiences:
5. London- Guy pulled out my iPod and said "Wot thees? Alarm clock?"
4. Phoenix- Old man swabs Davey's makeup case and the machine detects TNT on it.
3. Mexico- Guards confiscate Smith's flatiron as a dangerous weapon.
2. Oakland- I unwittingly leave a pair of brass knuckles in my jacket pocket and almost get arrested on a felony.
1. Toronto- Even older man with sweet purple turban pats down my hair for at least 15 seconds to determine if there are any illegal items hidden within.